Option of Having Him
by MinervaEvenstar
Summary: James and Sirius think Remus only sleeps with them, but he isn't as innocent as they believe. He's slept with most of our year. But never me. I don't want him, of course. I just want the option of having him. A James/Sirius/Remus fic from Peter's PoV.


**Summary:** James and Sirius think Remus only sleeps with them, but he isn't as innocent as they believe. He's slept with most of our year. But never me. I don't want him, of course. I just want the option of having him. A James/Sirius/Remus fic from Peter's PoV.

**Rating:** probably Teen, but I'll rate it Mature to be safe

**Genres:** Romance, Drama, Friendship

**Words:** about 1,350

**Pairings:** James/Sirius/Remus, James/Lily, Sirius/Remus, one-sided Peter/Remus

**Warning:** This isn't the way that I normally write the characters. It casts all four Marauders in a slightly unflattering, though not unfeasible, light.

**Disclaimer:** The characters were created by J. K. Rowling, but I'm sure that upon creating them she never intended _this_ story to come about!

Option of Having Him

"C'mere, Moony. Let us compromise your Prefectly virtue."

He obeys (He _always_ obeys.) even as he mutters, "I don't have 'Prefectly virtue.'"

It's true; he doesn't. I know that, and I think James and Sirius know it too and just don't want to admit it. They like to think that they are the only ones that can get Remus to misbehave both in and out of the bedroom.

They think that I don't notice their fornication because they assume that I'm always eating or sleeping. They don't suspect that I'll take the initiative to borrow the map and the invisibility cloak to see what they're up to.

By observing them in this way, I learn that James and Sirius have an unspoken agreement that neither of them can shag Remus unless the other is present because Remus is too pure and perfect to be tainted by one person alone.

I also learn that both of them break this agreement regularly, unbeknownst to the other.

Remus isn't to blame for this, though. He isn't aware of the dynamic duo's unspoken promise. He doesn't know how highly he is prized.

Remus never initiates sex with either of them, or with anyone else. It's just that, when approached, Remus never refuses. Not to say that he doesn't enjoy it, for he certainly does. He seems to like sex best when it's just him and Sirius; perhaps because of the odd canine connection that they share, or perhaps because of something else entirely.

Most of Hogwarts assumes that Sirius is the castle slut, but it's actually Remus. More people try to get into Remus' pants because they think that no one else has. Sirius' playboy reputation, one that he's done little to earn, is too intimidating for most people. Ironic as it seems, Sirius' sexual persona leads him to have _less_ sex.

With the war going on outside of the palace walls, everyone is afraid of dying, and no one wants to die a virgin. Is a nervous virgin with no experience going to approach who they think is a sex god? No. She (sometimes he, but usually she) is going to approach someone that she thinks is chaste, like herself, because if they're both virgins, then she won't look foolish in her inexperience. She has to approach someone kind who will be gentle with her because she knows it hurts the first time. About every three weeks, a girl asks Remus to deflower her, and he worries that if he rejects her that she'll not only hate him, but feel insecure about herself.

Remus is considerate and he agrees every time.

I could look down on Remus for his inability to say no, but I don't because I, better than anyone, can relate to his need to feel loved. I always want to feel like I'm a valued person, and I never do. I guess Remus sleeps with anyone that asks so that he can feel treasured…even if it is only for around twenty minutes.

Well, to be fair, James and Sirius are never so quick with Remus. With each other – and, yes, James and Sirius frequently have romps just the two of them - everything is always fast and hard, but they take their time whenever they bring Remus into it. I think that they actually do love him as well as one another, but there's possessiveness in the love that makes it impure. If someone were to tell James and Sirius about all of the lovers Remus has had (and some that he still has), they would be furious that someone else touched _their _Remus.

They wouldn't blame Remus for his loose behaviour, of course. Oh no, they would insist that their sweet and innocent little darling had been taken advantage of, and their vengeance upon those that slept with him would be terrible.

Remus has done less to earn his 'sweet and innocent' reputation than Sirius has done to earn his whorish one. Remus was practically an adult when we all arrived here during first year, having suffered a great deal already thanks to his lycanthropy, so the supposed innocence is out the window. I admit that Remus _can_ be sweet, especially for an adolescent Marauder boy, but not as much as he somehow gleans credit for.

After all of the people that 'sweet and innocent' Remus has spread his legs for, he won't do the same for me. I mean, I don't _want_ him to or anything, but it offends me that he isn't willing to. He barely knows the names of most of the students that he shags. He knows James and Sirius well, and he lets _them_ have their way with him more often than anyone else. But never me. Even though _I_ know Remus better than James and Sirius do, because I'm not blinded by the bizarre need to own and protect the werewolf, like they are.

Does Remus appreciate that I know him better than anyone else? No. I know that he doesn't because I once suggested that he and I should get off together. Mind you, I didn't really want to; I just wished to be sure that if I did want the option that he'd be willing.

Know what he did? He laughed. He laughed as if the very idea were hilarious. How could he do that? How can he offer his cock and his hole to the rest of the bleeding school, and not even consider doing it for me? He does it for his other best friends, so why not me, too?

Eventually, Lily - a girl that James has fancied forever and one that amazingly hasn't slept with either Sirius _or_ Remus - agrees to date James. For a while, James continues to shag his fellow Marauders (all of them except me), but then he realises how serious things are getting with Lily and that sleeping with anyone other than her isn't right.

So, one night when the other three falsely believe that I am asleep (as usual), James and Sirius beckon Remus over to them, and James tells the canines to have fun without him. Then, he lets himself out of the dorm. It's a highly symbolic gesture. In their deluded minds, James and Sirius believe that they have joint custody of Remus' person. By intentionally leaving them alone, James is renouncing his claim and giving full custody to Sirius. Of course, Remus raises no protests about being given and being claimed like an object. He probably doesn't even notice that the transition of ownership took place until Sirius says, "James has Lily. It's just you and me. You're mine now."

This new development doesn't faze me at first because I don't think that Remus will be able to stop accepting sexual advances from other people, thus making him unfaithful to Sirius when clearly Sirius wants them to be exclusive now.

Remus proves me wrong, and I hate it. Not because I seriously want Remus for myself, but because the _option_ of having him for myself is no longer there.

After Hogwarts, Lily moves in with James, and Remus moves in with Sirius. No one moves in with me.

As far as I can tell, neither Remus nor Sirius sleeps with anyone besides one another even though they both get propositions from the occasional Order member. This means that the formerly communal sex wolf is Sirius' private love-toy now. It isn't fair that _I_ never got a turn with Remus before he became monogamous.

Not that I want one. Of course I don't. I simply desire the option of having a turn. There's no way I can have an option now, though. I can't compete with Sirius. Unless…

Unless there is some way for me to become powerful and important so that Remus will see that he shouldn't have laughed at me all of those years ago, and that – being the observant person that I am – I'm much better for him than Sirius or James could ever be.

I think I might have an idea…


End file.
